Blogger Matthew Fray recently wrote a piece about why he and his ex-wife divorced. While the title seems to blame the breakup on his lack of cleanliness, Fray instead discusses the real reasons the relationship dissolved. While the article can be a bit preachy at times, it’s still worth a read—there might be some insights that will help your marriage!
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Fray confesses he had the habit of leaving used drinking glasses by kitchen sink, just inches away from the dishwasher—and it really bothered his wife.
“Every time she’d walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn’t know it yet.”
But it wasn’t about the dishes, Fray realizes, it was about respect. Men need to feel respected by their wives, and when the wife nags about putting glasses in the dishwasher, it doesn’t really scream “I respect you!” But wives also need to feel respected by their husbands; and for whatever reason, putting his dishes away was key to that.
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“I understand that when I leave that glass there, it hurts her — literally causes her pain — because it feels to her like I just said: “Hey. I don’t respect you or value your thoughts and opinions. Not taking four seconds to put my glass in the dishwasher is more important to me than you are.”
Fray concludes that, unfortunately, most guys don’t realize that she’s NOT fighting about the glass. She’s actually fighting for acknowledgement, respect, validation and his love. And a man who is able to enact behavioral change—even when he doesn’t understand or agree with his wife’s thought process—is capable of having a great relationship.
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“When you choose to love someone, it becomes your pleasure to do things that enhance their lives and bring you closer together, rather than a chore.”
Curated article from:
Must Be This Tall To Ride
