A Word About Willpower
Visualizing and being proactive will get you on your way to making the changes you want, but it’s willpower that will take you all the way home. Whether you call it intestinal fortitude, self-control, or determination, you know what we mean. It’s the epic angel-on-one-shoulder, devil-on-the-other battle that we face numerous times a day. The American Psychological Association defines willpower as:
- The ability to delay gratification, resisting short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.
- The capacity to override an unwanted thought, feeling or impulse.
- The ability to employ a “cool” cognitive system of behavior rather than a “hot” emotional system.
- Conscious, effortful regulation of the self by the self.
- A limited resource capable of being depleted.
All of those points seem manageable, but that last bit about willpower being a limited resource gives me pause.
“People who felt compelled to exert self-control (in order to please others, for example) were more easily depleted than people who were driven by their own internal goals and desires.”Mark Muraven, University of AlbanyExperts say that our self-control works all day long to keep us from having road rage, downing 10 donuts at breakfast, or yelling at our kids. By the end of the day, we’re exhausted from holding it together. (Ever had a perfect day of eating and exercise, yet found yourself standing at the fridge come midnight, looking for a snack?) What causes this might be biological – our brains are low on fuel from working so hard to deny our impulses all day. Proponents of this thinking say that just like other muscles, our willpower can get fatigued. But there is also evidence that beliefs and attitudes can keep your willpower depletion in check. Mark Muraven, PhD, and colleagues at the University at Albany, found that “people who felt compelled to exert self-control (in order to please others, for example) were more easily depleted than people who were driven by their own internal goals and desires.” So, your motivations matter.
3. Focus on the process, not the outcome.
This is one of the most profound results of forming good habits: If you focus on living in the present moment, and enjoy the exercise, or the healthier foods, or the inner calm from knowing that you are taking care of yourself, that’s the reward. Many people give up if they don’t reach their goals or see drastic results in a set amount of time. The truth is, there might be setbacks, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel. As we evolve our goals will change, and we may never truly achieve perfection (which is what we’re going for, right?). Simply being more mindful of what you want to achieve, and then taking the steps toward your goals can be gratifying enough to keep you lacing up your running shoes every morning at 6:00 a.m.
