So I walked into the salon to find my wife’s best friends waiting in the lobby. Fucking perfect. I was the only dude among six women.
“Hey Mike! What are you doing here?”
“Ummm…ummm…getting a massage?”
“Really? They don’t do massages here.” DOH!
“Fine. Ariana is forcing me to get manscaped.”
“Wow…good for her!” Then I swear she smiled and winked at me. What the fuck?
My name was called and I was shown to a small room where I was told to take my clothes off, lay on the table and cover myself with small a towel. Then she appeared. Think Lucy Lu but not as attractive.
“Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Anka. ”
“Nice to meet you too.”
“Have you ever done this before?” she asked
“Nope.”
“Don’t be nervous. It is going to hurt a little but you are going to love the result.”
Then she removed the towel and I felt this amazing warm feeling pouring over my balls. Wow, this awesome. Until…RIP!
Blinding white light…
“HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!” “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” Searing pain like I never felt in my life. “RIP!” again. My fear of arousal disappeared entirely. Not only did I fail to launch, my pecker went due South to the opposite side of my body towards my ass. I would have been happy to break even at that point. As my vision came back into focus I could see that Anka was laughing. What a sadist. Who chooses this as a profession anyway?
“Breathe deep big boy. I know it hurts but you can handle it,” she added with encouragement. “It will be over shortly. And remember what they say: The smaller the nest the bigger the bird.”
WHAT THE? COULD IT BE TRUE….?
