We all do it – we see beautiful ‘power couples’ walking down the street, and wonder about how awesome their sex life must be. It’s natural to be curious, and we can actually learn a lot from those couples who have lots of sex by studying their habits.
A sad, but true, fact about long-term relationships that that, whether you have been together five years or five months, there is always a risk of falling into a sexual rut (or more than one rut!). These ruts are usually the result of high stress, poor communication, or mismatched libidos, amongst other things. These issues are holding you back from having the best sex life you possibly can.
According to Lauren Brim, author of The New Rules of Sex and a sexual wellness coach,
“Sex is often seen as something we outgrow or can easily go without, but sexuality and intimacy are an expression of our life force, creativity and love, and must be expressed to be fully realized as a people…If our sexuality isn’t being expressed, it will show up as problems in other areas of our body and life. Plus, sex is just too damn good for you to live your life without it!”
RELATED: What Keeps Couples Happy Long Term
According to her research, there are several habits for you and your partner to adopt to hop back on the sex wagon:
- Flirt, often.
Keep things exciting outside of the bedroom by noticing your partner’s attractiveness. Do this by pinching their butt as they walk by, giving them a nice ‘ooh-la-la’ as they get in the shower, or simply tell your partner how smokin’ hot they look today.
- Communicate well
Couples who talk about their sexual desires as well as their emotional needs will be able to care for each other more deeply and intimately.
- Keep things spicy
We know – this is easier said than done, but it has been shown that couples who create and imagine new novel sexual situations are far more likely to have lots of fun sex. You may also learn a lot about your partner’s and your desires.
RELATED: Key to Great Long-Term Sex Life is Variety
- No resentment
Harboring suppressed resentment is a surefire way to diminish sex, because one partner is secretly angry at the other. Take time to work-through issues, and never go to bed angry.
- Active lifestyles
Exercise and active lifestyles generally result in increased energy and a steady release of endorphins, which is sure to get you both in the mood.
*Pro-tip: go to the gym together, then get home for a ‘bonus workout’.*
- Well-rested
Being tired is the #1 excuse for not being in the mood, so making sure you both care for yourself and get enough rest is vitally important to your daily functions, as well as sexual functions.
- Masturbation
Although this may seem counter-productive, solo-sex can boost sex with your partner because it’s a great way to boost the libido as well as putting you in a sexual frame of mind.
RELATED: How Masturbation Affects Your Sex Drive
- Making Time for Sex
Yes, we’re all busy, and there never seems to be enough hours in the day to get freaky in the sheets. You don’t have to go so far as to ‘schedule sex’, but this is why it is so important to take charge of your schedule and carve out some intimate time for the both of you away from the TV.
- Let go of inhibitions
It’s so important to be able to let loose under the sheets. If your partner and you are open-minded and free of inhibitions with one another, it will make it much easier to have spontaneous, passionate sex, all the time!
A healthy sex life starts with you. Loving and taking care of your body, cultivating a relationship with your sexuality, and making time for sex because you value your pleasure, your partner’s satisfaction, and what sex does for you as an individual and the relationship.
Curated article from:
Bustle
